who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize