um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
