Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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