You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
