SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
