That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
