I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
