it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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