census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
