i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
