She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
