It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
