I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
