Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
