Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
