She's JV to your varsity
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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