You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
well you can't waste a boner
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
