Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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