I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
