I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
