You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
