Nicole vs. Life
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
