You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
