im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
