The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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