I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she woke up with a sticky ear
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
