how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
