And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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