Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
