This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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