I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize