and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
