...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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