bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
