There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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