I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
