as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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