There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
