Me too!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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