I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
