Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
