Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
