Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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