no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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