also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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