Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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