You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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