it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
