just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
