I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
