new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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