i don't plan on having that self control this summer
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
