Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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