That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
