i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize