The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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