Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
