There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
