Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
