Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
